YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio (WYTV) — Domestic violence does not discriminate against anyone.
And it’s certainly not a secret in Youngstown.
Fifth Baptist Church held an event to help people who know or are someone dealing with the situation.
Two survivors are sharing their stories and offering tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
Clara Lambert stood nervously but boldly and told her story to people at Fifth Avenue Church, of how she left her abuser.
“It was verbal and emotional abuse but it started getting physical in the last month,” said Clara Lambert, domestic violence survivor.
This the second time she has shared her story, but she hopes it will get through to one person in the room.
“I’m just trying to show women that there’s hope. And if you want to get out there are ways to get out like I did,” said Lambert.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 24 percent of women in the U.S.A. have been a victim of server violence from a partner. For men it’s 13 percent. And what experts tell us is you must watch closely for the signs of an abuser.
“That’s just of sign of want to control where you at who you going to see where you going,” said Lambert.
Brenda Gray-Morgan has seen over 200 domestic violence cases get dismissed so far this year. Often, it’s because the victim isn’t ready to leave.
“Because of kids, they don’t want to split the family up, they are afraid of being alone,” said Gray-Morgan.
Gray-Morgan is not only an advocate but she is a survivor as well.
“I was not going to live like that and when I was pregnant with my last child and I knew that was it, it was just time to go,” said Gray-Morgan.
For both Lambert and Gray-Morgan, they hope to make sure at least one more person can help or has the courage to get out of a dangerous situation.
Signs of Physical and sexual violence
-using Economic Abuse
*preventing her from keeping a job
*making her ask for money
*giving her an allowance
*taking her money
*not letting her know about or have access to family income
-using Coercion and threats
*making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
*threatening to leave her
– to commit suicide
-to report her welfare
*making her drop charges
*making her do illegal things
*making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
*destroying her property
-using emotional abuse
* Putting her down
*making her feel bad about herself
*calling her names
*making her think she’s crazy
*playing mind games
*Making her feel guilty
*controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to
*limiting her outside involvement
*using jealousy to justify actions.
-minimizing denying and blaming
*making light of abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously
*saying the abuse didn’t happen
*shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
*saying she caused it
*making her feel guilty about the children
*using the children to relay messages
*threatening to take the children away
-using male privilege
*treating her like a servant
*making all the big decisions
*acting like the “master of the castle”
*being the one to define men’s and women’s roles